Playing

Yesterday, when I needed it most, the universe plopped an EXTRA LARGE inflatable castle in front of me.

In an effort to embrace the universe, I moseyed on in and jumped jumped jumped jumped jumped. Its been twenty years since I've jumped jumped jumped like that. I also did a spectacular forward flip which had me completely suspended in the air, then plopped down, painlessly, on the castle's inflatable blue floor.

Wow. High-jumping is such a thrill. As is falling on my butt, then being propelled up again.

I slid out of the castle, slipped on my shoes, and was seemingly whisked by an invisible hand to a nearby booth in which fresh fruit was passed out and DIY bracelet making kits were offered, FREE ! I strung an absolutely exquisite pattern of pink and green plastic hearts on cheap plastic fishing wire and loved every minute of it.

The enzymes in the chunks of pineapple in the fruit salad saved my life. There's just something magical about pineapple.

These lovely opportunities, I later learned, fell under the rubrick of a college campus' Stress-Relief day. I also made my own button and acquired a shiny, plastic, star-speckled bags filled with samples of lube, condoms, and safe sex guidelines.

Sometimes the universe is kind. Sometimes it delivers without much effort on the recipient's part. It's always best when it comes unannounced, like grace.

I've tried incorporating play into my own life, but not enough. I want to do it without having to shell out $300 for a ticket to Black Rock City. Some woman I read about makes over 250K a year teaching corporate stiffs how to play and have fun. She says that our notions of work having to be hard and devoid of fun is wrong. And that we've been conditioned to believe all these negative notions about work and play that are simply not objectively true. She says work doesn't have to be hard. And that we can have fun, now, and everyday, even while working.

There are still disproportionately more questions than answers. Where will I be in five years? Will I be better off? Worse off? Will I have wasted another five years? Will I have made progress in my various projects? Or stagnated? Will I have made the career shift? Will my dreams come true? Or will the bitter pit of life leave a lingering bitter taste on my tongue?

What would Eckhart say? Let it come to me? Don't try to manipulate so much? Let the universe bring the answer to me?

I have a strong notion of where I want to be, but little more than a penny, a rucksack, and a business card I found at a bus stop to get me there. Will the Universe provide when there's a Will, as the laws of attraction state? Will things just work out? Will God help me if I help myself? I honestly do not know what the future brings.

I bought a special lotto ticket this last weekend. Did some kind of mojo mumbo jumbo to come up with nine rows of numbers at $1 pop. Used pixie dust and fairy drool and chicken legs and all that. Dug up old papers with numbers and used those numbers. All the winning numbers appeared in my humble nine rows, just not in the right sequence. Many of the winning numbers recurred. My efforts yielded me a whole $9--I broke even. Neither better off nor worse off than I was.

What is the universe trying to tell me? I won't progress, but I won't regress? Or that I'm breaking even NOW (a reminder?). Shit, couldn't the Universe have at least put me ahead $1? What does it mean?

Well, only time will tell, I suppose. I am thinking more play. The real, physical kind, such as jumping. And frisbee in the park. And bubbles and squirt guns.

Recently, I was listening to a podcast in which a well known astronomy professor was discussing the end of the earth as we know it. The sun is going through changes--red giant, white dwarf, etc. Ok, it's not going to happen overnight. But it will happen in a few hundred million years. But humans--at the rate we're going--only have about 10,000 years left (at the rate we're going). And, when asll is said and done, it could end in the blink of an eye. Asteroid. Nuclear incident. Super virus. Not very encouraging.

I think it's time to jump.