Yesterday, when I needed it most, the universe plopped an EXTRA LARGE inflatable castle in front of me.
Wow. High-jumping is such a thrill. As is falling on my butt, then being propelled up again.
I slid out of the castle, slipped on my shoes, and was seemingly whisked by an invisible hand to a nearby booth in which fresh fruit was passed out and DIY bracelet making kits were offered, FREE ! I strung an absolutely exquisite pattern of pink and green plastic hearts on cheap plastic fishing wire and loved every minute of it.
These lovely opportunities, I later learned, fell under the rubrick of a college campus' Stress-Relief day. I also made my own button and acquired a shiny, plastic, star-speckled bags filled with samples of lube, condoms, and safe sex guidelines.
There are still disproportionately more questions than answers. Where will I be in five years? Will I be better off? Worse off? Will I have wasted another five years? Will I have made progress in my various projects? Or stagnated? Will I have made the career shift? Will my dreams come true? Or will the bitter pit of life leave a lingering bitter taste on my tongue?
What would Eckhart say? Let it come to me? Don't try to manipulate so much? Let the universe bring the answer to me?
I have a strong notion of where I want to be, but little more than a penny, a rucksack, and a business card I found at a bus stop to get me there. Will the Universe provide when there's a Will, as the laws of attraction state? Will things just work out? Will God help me if I help myself? I honestly do not know what the future brings.
I bought a special lotto ticket this last weekend. Did some kind of mojo mumbo jumbo to come up with nine rows of numbers at $1 pop. Used pixie dust and fairy drool and chicken legs and all that. Dug up old papers with numbers and used those numbers. All the winning numbers appeared in my humble nine rows, just not in the right sequence. Many of the winning numbers recurred. My efforts yielded me a whole $9--I broke even. Neither better off nor worse off than I was.
What is the universe trying to tell me? I won't progress, but I won't regress? Or that I'm breaking even NOW (a reminder?). Shit, couldn't the Universe have at least put me ahead $1? What does it mean?
Well, only time will tell, I suppose. I am thinking more play. The real, physical kind, such as jumping. And frisbee in the park. And bubbles and squirt guns.
Recently, I was listening to a podcast in which a well known astronomy professor was discussing the end of the earth as we know it. The sun is going through changes--red giant, white dwarf, etc. Ok, it's not going to happen overnight. But it will happen in a few hundred million years. But humans--at the rate we're going--only have about 10,000 years left (at the rate we're going). And, when asll is said and done, it could end in the blink of an eye. Asteroid. Nuclear incident. Super virus. Not very encouraging.
I think it's time to jump.